We with hearing loss have no real community

Many years ago, l received a jury summons and l went to the court clerk with my audiogram and letter from my doctor and l was excused from all future jury summons.

When l was growing up, I went thru public schools and l couldn’t hear the teacher as there were no special education in the 1960s. It was my mother who has an master college degree and she helped me with all my homework. After college, l worked for an small scientific company for 14.5 years and they were impressed with my hard work and performance so they hired a few other deaf people and they did well too. I worked for two other companies long term and no issues with communication with normal hearing employees because l taught myself to be an excellent lip reader.

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Maybe I was “lucky” in a twisted sort of way. My dad was deaf as a post. His dad also. My mom lost her hearing in her mid-40s. Brother, sister and I sport aids. But I was the odd child born with about a 10-20% loss that got way WAY worse over the decades.

So my growing-up family knew and understood DEAF life like a reality show. My toughest years were high school, when I was borderline needing a hearing aid, but my folks (deafer than ME) didn’t really get that.

It was only as I transitioned from life at home to a new life with BF (pre-dating “Three’s Company” in the same vein) that I finally found out how much I was missing. Borrowed money from my folks, bought my first pair of aids, and have worn them every waking hour of the day since.

I’m actually feeling more EMPOWERED as the technology and streaming devices in these improves. I couldn’t say this 10 yrs ago, but today, I find I hear better than other folks at least 10% of the time. Granted, I’m also missing some things said maybe 5% of the time? The Phonak Lumity Life aids I have now have been a major game changer. I’m embracing the HEARING EMPOWERED. Yes, there will be challenges as I age, and my snake-belly audiogram dives underground (is that possible?), but maybe there will be more improvements to keep me socially active.

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Growing up, I had good hearing, and my whole family including grandparents and even my great grandfather had super hearing. And now my wife has great hearing and she is older than I am. My hearing loss as i am coming to understand is a combination of a mild cookie bite loss and the extra loss due to extreme noisely conditions while in the military. The very mild cookie bite was only noticeable in the fact i could not pronounce words correctly to spell them, but i could hear a pin drop and i could as a child and teenager hear an animal moving in the forest at great distances.But in the Navy working in noisy environments like flight lines and equipment rooms has totally destroyed my ability to understand speech without the highly adjusted hearing aids. And the normal way of adjusting hearing aids for the majority only makes things worse. For me finding the correct adjustments was a 18 month process of monthly appointments to find the correct adjustments for my hearing loss. Without my aids i hear low and high frequency sound but nothing in the normal speech range. It is like i have a dead area in my ears. When doing the word recognition test my audiologist set the level of the test to 90db andi still only hear about 50%. And when normal people talk i don’t even recognize that they are talking as it is lost in the white noise of my tinnitus.

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My dad was career Navy. Started in WW2, then the Korean War. He wouldn’t wear hearing aids… but I do.
Reading your description helps me. I hadn’t thought it out like you have and you’ve helped a lot.
I had the good fortune to be at sea on a small aircraft carrier. I would have followed your path if I wasn’t colourblind.

“And when normal people talk I don’t even recognize that they are talking as it is lost in the white noise of my tinnitus” sounds like me too!

Thanks for posting…
DaveL

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Wow, you’ve had challenges! But I sure ENVY that pin-drop hearing you also experienced. My dad also lost the rest of his hearing in a sub during WWII, so even tho hearing loss ran in the family, his really got destroyed.

I SO empathize with your long journey to get the aids fine-tuned to what YOU want for speech clarity. It’s just a maddening process like operating in a black sack. We know what we want and need in our hearing solution, but it’s totally up to the fitter/audi to make that happen. I think that’s why so many here have turned to the DIY route. I’d do the same if I had that kind of mind and time to learn the software. It can’t be rocket science!

What you describe about normal people talking and not even recognizing they are talking is precisely what I experienced with the Oticon OPN aids. It was a puzzle as I had programs set up, but the ambient sounds simply overwhelmed my brain. Have you tried Phonak Lumity Life aids? I’ve lost track what “camp” you’re in!

All I know is that I had a transformation once I switched from Phonak Marvel to the Lumity Life aids. It didn’t happen overnight. But with each incident of my being able to comprehend what was said (like a “EUREKA!” moment every single time) I leaned in to my own ability more and more! So their claim of speech clarity worked for me, and after weeks of fine-tuning the programs and settings, I’d say I finally arrived at my optimal point.

O’course if the aids were WATERPROOF as claimed by Phonak, I’d be in 7th Heaven! But I’m okay without that for now. I hope you’ll never give up pursuing what needs to be changed with your aids and able to articulate your issues and goals to a patient audi. They’ve got to LOVE what they’re doing to do their best for US. And finding that rare professional is like winning a lottery. Keep us posted on your reality for sanity checks here.

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I figured out early on that I am a natural troubleshooter, and the Navy picked up on it and really taught me how to use my natural skills. I can troubleshoot anything that i can find the information on to understand it. In the Navy it was electronic equipment, and i was known to fix almost anything from communications equipment to radar, to early computers and even vehicles from the electrical to the mechanical. After the service i paid my way by working in electronics while educating myself in computers, from hardware to software languages. I can not develop or design software but i did a lot of quality control and software troubleshooting. I retired from Dell computers as a Microsoft Master Certified Systems Engineer, my specialty was the email servers and internet servers.

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@cvkemp
My Father was a radar officer on British cruisers in WW2 Back then they had a real shortage of people with your skills.

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I see many references to how good the Phonaks are. Over the last 8-9 years I have had all Oticons. Originally RIA2, worked well. As my hearing has declined, I went to OPN3, which never seemed to be adjusted very well for speech. So at the next opportunity, I got the More1, and a different audi. Hoping to improve my speech comprehension. Other things I can hear, birds, kitchen appliances, what have you, speech is still not what I had hoped for. The one year no cost access to my audi has expired, so I have gone DIY. I did save his original programming, usually begin from there and explore. Sometimes maybe closer, but never the clarity of speech that I’m seeking. Makes me wish I had tried Phonaks! Sadly, my insurance used to help out every three years, but they just changed to 5 years…

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I have been with Oticon aids now for 14 years. Yes i have tried the other brands of aids but i keep coming back to Oticon. I have been wearing aids for 20 years, the me now Oticon aids are my sound standard. I also understand that clarity is objective and depends on the person and that persons hearing loss. I volunteer at my VA clinic and do what I can to help other Veterans to understand what they are getting into when they start wearing aids. I also help with pairing their aids to phones, computers and tablets. I also have seen Veterans that don’t use any type of phones at all. And even a number of homeless Veterans. My latest adventure has been talking to Veterans that have been told they need aids, then the audiologist has me do a one on one with the veteran to determine the level of technical skills, and to set expectations before they select what aids the want. At first i didn’t want that responsibility but i am finding it quite rewarding. My audiologist said even if we had a 50-50 record we were doing great. So far we are hitting 80% success. The main thing i will not recommend is which brand. That is a personal issue that only the patient and audiologist should do. I will say that brand wise the clinic does more phonak than any other brand, with Oticon next followed by the rest of the major brands. If a veteran comes to the clinic that has been wearing aids before they come to the clinic i use then unless the veteran ask for a different brand they are fitted with what they have been wearing.
At this clinic i was standing in line waiting for it to first open as a brand new VA audiology clinic. I was actually the clinic’s first patient. And I pray daily that my audiologist never leaves the clinic.

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Hi Chuck, how are you? Have not heard from you for a while. Oops the word heard does not apply to us, and we forget.should have said have not seen you here in a while. Hope you are well.

I am in mourning right now I just lost my oldest daughter to type one diabetes. She had had it over 40 years.

Take care, Anita

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GOOD ON YOU taking the bull by the horns and becoming a DIYer! I wish I had that skill.

Have you thought about changing insurance plans? My supplementary GAP coverage now offers hearing/vision/dental option. Yes, it may be more money, but unless you find out, you’ll never know. Explore your options.

Five years in the hearing aid world - especially if we’re seniors! - is simply TOO LONG. These insurance providers hope we just up and CROAK or maybe get so feeble from brain + ear connections severed that we don’t even know or care what we’re missing.

Hearing is a critical sense. Boggles my mind how the OLDER we get, the MORE insurance companies diminish our options and string out the replacement. Declare insanity or depression at any age, and help is just a phone call away.

Can anyone explain the logic here to me? Other than, well since MOST ol’ folks will need aids, we’d go belly-up as an insurance company offering any kind of valued service or payments to them. :face_with_diagonal_mouth:

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So sorry about your daughter thst is so sad.

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Yes, it can feel that way. However, I have found that my hearing disability is not as frustrating and as negated by others as my loss of my sense of smell. I find people are more understanding of my hearing loss. However when I mention my loss of smell, I am laughed at and belittled. Seriously people have laughed and directed told me that losing your sense of smell is not a disability. Only when COVID came did some people understand. Imagine not smelling smoke smell from your car when driving, the gas smell from your heater, or something burning in the kitchen. By the time the alarm comes on, the damage is done. We have high tech hearing aids to assist us with our hearing. Unfortunately there are no smelling aids invented yet. This forums is great! I’m sure there is a support group on facebook as well.

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Now the price of hearing aids has just plummeted. Try whatever brand you like now. Buying used off eBay for example will save you thousands. Lots of help here on the forum.
Good luck

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We are not alone. Even God seems to be deaf. Did He hear the prayers of any of us?

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I had a Medicare Advantage plan and could get premium aids for 699 US dollars copay each but they were Truhearing private brand aids made by Signia. I didn’t want to get stuck with private brand aids. I switched to another healthcare provider and l get 2500 dollar allowance per year for a pair of aids. If the cost of the aids is above 2500 dollars then l pay the difference. It depends on the healthcare plan. I’m happy with Phonak aids. I wished Oticon by now came out with a replacement for Xceed hearing aids.

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I can see what you mean about not having a community, but the other side of that would be that it’s a success story of integration into wider society. This forum is a great community where I have found so much information and knowledge.

I have a chronic neurological condition and although I look fine on the outside, on the inside I am suffering. I have no community other than my online community with the same illness and that’s where I get my support and I think this is the case for many people with all sorts of different conditions and challenges.

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DJ,
Have you always had loss of smell ? Have doctors mentioned the reason ?
For 30 somewhat years my husband and I have been married, he has had loss of smell.
Not 100% but a lot. 6 months ago, my husband was diagnosed with Parkinsons. One of the symptoms is loss of smell. I’m not trying to be alarming, but might be something to look into. Now that he is on medication, some of his sense of smell has returned.
Laura

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I agree that it’s a constant struggle. I have severe to profound loss but hearing aid technology, mainly Bluetooth, has given me the ability to hear on the phone again. Speech to text can help but fails when in the environments that we need it the most. I resort back to using communication strategies to function as best as I can. I need to be close to the person talking which is intimidating to many. Disclosing the hearing loss helps. I attend a monthly luncheon with other members of the gym I attend. I miss much of a conversation but talk mostly with people next and across from me. The folks at the gym know I have hearing loss and know I’m not ignoring them and know when my hearing aids are out, to not try to talk to me. They sometimes forget but I go into a “sign language” mode (I don’t know ASL) to remind them.

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I am a veteran and my hearing loss is service related so my aids aren’t costing me anything.
I even get a monthly disability income.

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